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Demonology 101: An Essay on Obsessions
I am possessed by a demonic entity.
Trust me, I know how bizarre that sounds, but if one were to take a step back and examine how the ancient sorcerers defined these entities and used them as metaphors and seat-fillers it sounds a lot less crazy.
An Obsession is a demon.
It is a negative thoughtform who wishes to cause harm to its host. It causes the host to go into relentless thought loops of the same thing nonstop. The Obsession causes the host to experience cravings, desires, wants, needs. It infects the mind so deeply it hijacks the freewill of the host and compels it to seek out whatever the Obsession desires. It causes the sufferer to act out of character solely to obtain the object of desire. It infects the Hosts mind so deeply it believes it is part of itself. The Obsession fuses with the Host until the Host slowly evolves into a new person, one that they don't want to be, typically.
This causes as an intense cognitive dissonance- a state of discomfort where how you think, feel, and act do not line up the appropriate way. They are out of sync, your entire being is not behaving the way you want it to yet you are trapped in a cycle you can't escape. This feeling causes depression, guilt, shame, worthlessness, anhednoia, apathy.
It simply hollows out the host and leaves them as an empty husk.
An Obsession is triggered by an abnormal reaction within your mind, typically when your dopamine pathways are excessively excited by some euphoric act (drugs, gambling, sex, and eating are the most common ones), it creates a /glitch/.
Your receptor receives just the perfect kind of stimulation- it feels better than it ever thought possible by an exponential amount- it's the /exact/ way it wants to be tickled- and this triggers the birth of the Obsession.
Your brain is designed to seek those feelings, it's how we survive. The entire purpose of the dopamine system is positive reinforcement- like getting a cookie for finishing your chores. It makes one more likely to repeat a behavior. The boost from dopamine is supposed to signal performing an action that was beneficial for your survival, your comfort, your well-being.
You hunt down an elk, gut it and skin it, then get to eat for several days. You did something positive to ensure your survival- so you are gifted dopamine.
This makes you feel good, it makes you feel euphoric and motivated. This makes you more likely to repeat the behavior. The dopamine system is a reinforcement tool, it is designed to create habits based on the triggerings it receives.
So the more dopamine you receive the more essential it is to live.
The better it feels the more important it is.
But- when the -glitch- occurs within the mind the dopamine system malfunctions. It's not supposed to feel that good, that's too much.
Take a hit of crack and release thousands of times more dopamine within seconds than ever possible organically. You cause so many feel good chemicals to dump into your brain you become overwhelmed with euphoria, you receive a "high"- the euphoric altered state of consciousness desired by the Host.
That is the design flaw within our system. Our minds (the mother of the Obsession) can not differentiate between the positive euphoric experiences and the negative euphoric experiences. All it cares about is the euphoria- no matter the cost.
Our reward system is too basic. Good feelings =/= Positive experiences.
So you activate the -glitch- and the Obsession is born. The Obsession starts as a meek, hardly vocal thoughtform, barely conscious. But it is driven by its desire. It is pure living desire that has no other purpose but to seek out the object of its obsession with everything its got. It does whatever possible to obtain this obsession.
Over time it gains power. It roots itself into the workings of the Host's mind so deeply they think it's their own thoughts. The Host doesn't recognize the demon's presence, it hides within the shadows and masquerades as bits of your own mind.
The Obession is a master of deceit, an expert manipulator with no morals of its own. All it wants is to consume. It's desire is paramount.
It is simply pure Desire given Life.
Over time the Host begins to seek out the obsesion no matter the consequences. Jails, rehabs, prisons, trap houses, shady alleys, hospital trips, psych wards, no where is off limits when on a quest to obtain a Fix- the brief relief of craving felt when the obession is obtained once the High is felt.
Another important thing to define:
Craving- an intense, overwhelming desire for the obsesion that drives you mad. Intense, nonstop thought loops focused solely on the object of desire. How to get it, who has it, how much it costs, just incessant, invasive thoughts pushing you, pushing you to go get it.
"You need it to live."
There is no worse state of mind than the thought loop cycle of craving for an object of obsession. It's edgy, pushy, anxious. It hijacks your free will. You lose your ability to freely decide.
The Obsession is in charge now.
The Obession of course loves this. Every bit of negativity excreted by the Host causes the Obsession to grow stronger. It is consumes feelings of craving, anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, rage, any type of low frequency emitted from the poor soul.
To add insult to injury, the Obsession induces these feelings in the Host through subconscious manipulation. The demon is hijacking the neural network and manipulating it for its own gain. It induces itensely unpleasant feelings of cravings, desire, shame, whatever the individual produces as a result of being flooded with pure need.
Even if the Host tries to refuse, the mind is hijacked, the desire is obtained regardless. The Host's feeling of cognitive dissonance deepends. The Obsession grows.
It will do whatever it takes to obtain more, more, more.
It is never satisfied.
It simply consumes.
Gluttony. Greed. Wrath.
And now to defeat it...