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Life Events & Experiences Affecting Self Worth & Value System
Aspect | Positive Experience | Negative Experience | Impact On Self Worth And Values | How to Challenge Negative Beliefs | Improving Self Worth | Assessing Realistic Self Worth |
Successes & Failures | Overcoming a challenge, recognizing the role of effort and perseverance. | Repeated failures, especially when there's little support or focus is solely on the outcome. | Beliefs: "I'm resilient, I can improve" vs. "I'm a failure, why bother trying?" Value: Growth, embracing challenges vs. Risk aversion, perfectionism | Reframe failure as experience. Ask, "What did I learn?" Focus on your effort, not just the result. Remind yourself: "Past failures aren't future predictors." | Celebrate even small successes. Seek opportunities for manageable challenges to build confidence. Prioritize learning over avoiding all mistakes. | What have I successfully overcome in the past? Where have I shown persistence even when it was difficult? |
Relationships | Healthy, supportive friendships/romantic partners. Mutually respectful, loving, and encouraging. | Toxic relationships where there's criticism, control, or lack of emotional support. | Beliefs: "I'm worthy of love and respect" vs. "I'm unlovable, I attract bad relationships" Values: Healthy connection, trust, setting boundaries vs. People-pleasing, tolerating mistreatment. | Identify patterns: Do I repeat unhealthy relationship dynamics? Journal: "What do I need from a relationship?". Learn about healthy boundaries and communicate your needs. | Cultivate supportive relationships outside the romantic context. Practice self-compassion after unhealthy relationships end. Seek therapy to heal past wounds that impact relationships. | What kind of people are supportive and bring out my best? Do my choices reflect that I deserve healthy love? |
Significant Life Transitions | Successful move to a new city, fulfilling career change. Support and resources are available. | Difficult transition (divorce, job loss) with little support or coping skills. | Beliefs: "I'm adaptable, I can handle change" vs. "I can't cope, life's always hard for me" Values: Resilience, seeking support vs. Helplessness, self-isolation. | Remind yourself of past transitions you've navigated. Focus on what you can control within the change. Challenge "all or nothing" thinking: Is this transition universally bad? | Learn coping mechanisms for stressful times. Ask for help & emotional support. Seek opportunities for small wins and normalcy within the change. | Where have I shown adaptability in the past? What healthy coping mechanisms have served me before? |
