Early Experiences Effecting Self Worth & Value System

Aspect
Positive Experience
Negative Experience
Impact On Self Worth And Values
How to Challenge Negative Beliefs
Improving Self Worth
Assessing Realistic Self Worth
Attachment
Secure bond with loving caregivers.
Child feels safe, seen, and valued unconditionally.
Inconsistent care, neglect, or emotional unavailability.
Child may feel unlovable, unworthy, anxious about relationships.
Beliefs:
"I am worthy of love"
vs.
"I have to earn love"
or
"I'm not lovable."
Value:
Connection and security
vs.
Self-protection, difficulty trusting.
Mindful practice of secure self-soothing.
Choosing partners who are emotionally available.
Therapy to address attachment wounds.
Build new secure attachments with healthy friends/partner
Journaling focused on self-compassion.
Acts of self-care to nurture inner child.
What are my strengths in relationships?
Do my choices reflect that I value feeling loved and secure?
Feedback & Messages
Supportive messages focusing on effort, growth, and positive traits.
Constructive criticism is kind but clear.
Harsh criticism focused on outcomes and flaws.
Humiliation, dismissive comments about child's capabilities.
Beliefs:
"I'm capable, I can learn"
vs.
"I'm not good enough, I'll always fail."
Value:
Growth mindset
vs.
Fear of failure, hiding flaws.
Challenge the inner critic: "Is that thought helpful? Is it true?"
Focus on self-compassion: "What would I say to a friend?"
Reframing past experiences: "I was criticized, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure."
Set achievable goals & celebrate progress.
Learn from mistakes, viewing them as stepping stones.
What areas am I genuinely skilled in?
How have I grown in the past year?
Sense of Belonging
Feeling accepted and valued within family, friend group, at school.
Bullying, exclusion, feeling like an outsider.
Beliefs:
"I belong, I have a place in the world"
vs.
"I don't fit in, something's wrong with me."
Value:
Connection and community
vs.
Isolation, self-reliance to the extreme.
Explore limiting beliefs: Are they accurate representations of current reality?
Seek communities where you feel seen and accepted.
Reframe "fitting in" as belonging authentically.
Focus on building quality connections, even just a few.
Practice extending kindness outwards to feel more connected.
Where do I genuinely feel a sense of belonging?
Am I being my authentic self in my social circles?