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Early Experiences Effecting Self Worth & Value System
Aspect | Positive Experience | Negative Experience | Impact On Self Worth And Values | How to Challenge Negative Beliefs | Improving Self Worth | Assessing Realistic Self Worth |
Attachment | Secure bond with loving caregivers. Child feels safe, seen, and valued unconditionally. | Inconsistent care, neglect, or emotional unavailability. Child may feel unlovable, unworthy, anxious about relationships. | Beliefs: "I am worthy of love" vs. "I have to earn love" or "I'm not lovable." Value: Connection and security vs. Self-protection, difficulty trusting. | Mindful practice of secure self-soothing. Choosing partners who are emotionally available. Therapy to address attachment wounds. | Build new secure attachments with healthy friends/partner Journaling focused on self-compassion. Acts of self-care to nurture inner child. | What are my strengths in relationships? Do my choices reflect that I value feeling loved and secure? |
Feedback & Messages | Supportive messages focusing on effort, growth, and positive traits. Constructive criticism is kind but clear. | Harsh criticism focused on outcomes and flaws. Humiliation, dismissive comments about child's capabilities. | Beliefs: "I'm capable, I can learn" vs. "I'm not good enough, I'll always fail." Value: Growth mindset vs. Fear of failure, hiding flaws. | Challenge the inner critic: "Is that thought helpful? Is it true?" Focus on self-compassion: "What would I say to a friend?" Reframing past experiences: "I was criticized, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure." | Set achievable goals & celebrate progress. Learn from mistakes, viewing them as stepping stones. | What areas am I genuinely skilled in? How have I grown in the past year? |
Sense of Belonging | Feeling accepted and valued within family, friend group, at school. | Bullying, exclusion, feeling like an outsider. | Beliefs: "I belong, I have a place in the world" vs. "I don't fit in, something's wrong with me." Value: Connection and community vs. Isolation, self-reliance to the extreme. | Explore limiting beliefs: Are they accurate representations of current reality? Seek communities where you feel seen and accepted. Reframe "fitting in" as belonging authentically. | Focus on building quality connections, even just a few. Practice extending kindness outwards to feel more connected. | Where do I genuinely feel a sense of belonging? Am I being my authentic self in my social circles? |