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Life Events & Experiences Affecting Self Worth & Value System
Aspect | Positive Experience | Negative Experience | Impact On Self Worth And Values | How to Challenge Negative Beliefs | Improving Self Worth | Assessing Realistic Self Worth |
Successes & Failures | Overcoming a challenge, recognizing the role of effort and perseverance. | Repeated failures, especially when there's little support or focus is solely on the outcome. | Beliefs: "I'm resilient, I can improve" vs. "I'm a failure, why bother trying?" Value: Growth, embracing challenges vs. Risk aversion, perfectionism | • Reframe failure as experience. Ask, "What did I learn?" Focus on your effort, not just the result. • Remind yourself: "Past failures aren't future predictors." | • Celebrate even small successes. • Seek opportunities for manageable challenges to build confidence. • Prioritize learning over avoiding all mistakes. | • What have I successfully overcome in the past? • Where have I shown persistence even when it was difficult? |
Relationships | Healthy, supportive friendships/romantic partners. Mutually respectful, loving, and encouraging. | Toxic relationships where there's criticism, control, or lack of emotional support. | Beliefs: "I'm worthy of love and respect" vs. "I'm unlovable, I attract bad relationships" Values: Healthy connection, trust, setting boundaries vs. People-pleasing, tolerating mistreatment. | • Identify patterns: Do I repeat unhealthy relationship dynamics? • Journal: "What do I need from a relationship?". • Learn about healthy boundaries and communicate your needs. | • Cultivate supportive relationships outside the romantic context. • Practice self-compassion after unhealthy relationships end. • Seek therapy to heal past wounds that impact relationships. | • What kind of people are supportive and bring out my best? • Do my choices reflect that I deserve healthy love? |
Significant Life Transitions | Successful move to a new city, fulfilling career change. Support and resources are available. | Difficult transition (divorce, job loss) with little support or coping skills. | Beliefs: "I'm adaptable, I can handle change" vs. "I can't cope, life's always hard for me" Values: Resilience, seeking support vs. Helplessness, self-isolation. | • Remind yourself of past transitions you've navigated. • Focus on what you can control within the change. • Challenge "all or nothing" thinking: Is this transition universally bad? | • Learn coping mechanisms for stressful times. • Ask for help & emotional support. • Seek opportunities for small wins and normalcy within the change. | • Where have I shown adaptability in the past? • What healthy coping mechanisms have served me before? |
